The thrill is gone. The food police have left the building. The scale is broken. The party is over. But it’s not an ending, its just a beginning.
All this doesn’t mean I don’t overeat sometimes or that I lost tons of weight or that I eat exactly what I want all the time. In fact, the first few months of binge free living, I found myself eating just because I could.
But truthfully, food just doesn’t turn me on that much anymore. I still love to eat, but my tastes have changed. It’s almost depressing, knowing that a piece of homemade chocolate cake won’t send me over the moon. If I don’t have cravings, why do I still eat those things?
One reason is that I am still proving to myself I can eat whatever I choose. And if I have to work too hard to eat something healthy over junk food, many times, I’ll choose the junk food. It seems obvious how to change this. Just make it easier to eat healthy food. But in reality, you have to work with what you have, play the cards you were dealt, make lemonade out of lemons… you get the idea.
I’m not making excuses, but I live with my husband, my mother in law and my son. My son is 24, a college graduate and has a great job, but he also has student loans, so we told him he could live here for awhile after he graduated to get a handle on the loans. And after my husband’s dad died, it became pretty clear his mom couldn’t live alone, so we made room for her in our home. That leaves my husband and I in the classic position that characterizes our generation, sandwiched between our progeny and our parentage. All who eat completely different than me.
I’ve often pictured how I would eat if I lived alone, or with people whose palate was more akin to mine and I always prefer to be with my current family than alone or with someone who shared my dietary likes. So, yes, I AM using my family as an excuse to eat less than the best I know and want to eat.
I want to eat colorful veggies at every meal, they all want meat, cheese and starch. I don’t typically care about snacks; my hubby snacks throughout the day. I can’t complain about my son because he’s not here half the time for meals, and when he is, he’ll eat just about anything that isn’t nailed down.
So, how do you eat what you really want at any given meal without cooking three different entrees?
I could just cook for myself, but in my household, I do the cooking for everyone and mother washes up the kitchen. I like this state of affairs, it keeps her feeling like she has a responsibility and it keeps me from cleaning (win-win). I also figure that if I cooked exactly what I wanted all the time, everyone in the house would eat bologna sandwiches.
I’ve given up trying to change their eating patterns and help them eat healthier because, well…because it doesn’t work. I realized this the day my husband chose to make a sandwich over a balanced meal I had prepared. I can’t make them eat any differently than they have always eaten just because I am eating differently. I can encourage them, but decided this is not good either since it puts me in a position where I am trying to control the behavior of other adults and I don’t want to be in that position. I just got OUT of that mindset!
I could make this another dilemma in my life, but I don’t focus on it. Somehow, we get through each day. We have ‘fend for yourself’ days, we go out to eat some days and sometimes, I do cook two different meals, but I keep it simple. That mindset seems to work for me.
To read how I thwarted a binge and never went back, click here.
“Take care of itself, the outcome will, if you focus on the process more.” MD