I love to make people happy. Like many, I am preparing for Christmas – trying to decorate, shop for gifts and bake my usual Christmas cookies for every single person I know. The kicker this year is that I am also preparing for my daughter’s wedding at the end of December. I am making her veil, my dress, preparing takeaways, printing programs, AND baking the wedding cake!
This sounds like craziness when I put in on paper, but it is working pretty well. I just have to make a few adjustments.
These adjustments are not so much of my routine, but adjustments to my thinking. Having a lot of responsibilities can cause me to scold myself if I don’t get something done by a certain time, or feel guilty if I spend a day goofing off instead of working. But I have decided that I will not reprimand myself for anything that I don’t do to perfection or that I fail to do.
I am doing my best and I am confident that is enough to get me to the vision of the wedding and the holiday I have in my mind. That thought did not come easily, though. I have second guessed myself several times. I have wondered why I took on so much and have found myself being anxious about some of the tasks. But I don’t let these thoughts morph into thoughts of giving up or just doing enough to get by.
Some people tell me that it must be so stressful, or that I am doing way too much, or that I am crazy for trying to be superwoman. But I don’t take in what they say. Making adjustments to get through this time has to come from inside me, from my own values and vision for the future. What I can accomplish is only limited by what is inside my head. Therefore, I cannot let other’s fears and anxieties cloud my vision.
I have learned to ask for help and graciously accept when it is offered. One friend helps me more than I can say and a few others give encouragement. I accept the encouragement, but I don’t rely on it. If I perform just to get reinforcement from others, I will find myself at the mercy of their opinions.
This does not mean that I don’t care about others. I do want my daughter to have the best wedding ever, I want to look good in my new dress, I want my family and friends to be happy at Christmas. But at the end of it all, if I have done my very best to make these things happen and it doesn’t turn out as I expected or others are still not happy, that’s not a failure on my part. However it turns out, God has my back and I still choose to be happy.
No matter what anyone else says, or what is happening around you, you are in charge of your own thoughts. You can choose to succumb to the negative anxious thoughts which bombard all of us, or you can rise up and think positively about your life and your situation. Making that adjustment can turn your frustrations to blessings.
I will probably not write any more articles until the new year. Hope you all have a blessed Christmas and a safe and happy New Year!
You can eat whatever you want, guilt free, over the holidays -not because you are going to diet for New Years, but because you are allowed to eat guilt free anytime for the rest of your life.